The Smells of Life

Humans are very weird about smells. Everything about people is designed to smell. And yet humans want to remove their smells from their bodies, to avoid offending others.

Nobody except a person who smells wants to smell a smelly person’s smell. Except their own smells. When you’re first born up to about age five, you only have to smell your own smells, unless your parents are particularly smelly. Then you have to smell your parents’ smells too. You’re usually OK with your own smell. Not so much with your parents’. They go above the limit. The smell limit should not be passed, of course.

Then you smell your classroom on your first day of school. Say it’s kindergarten, or preschool. And you smell the room, and it smells terrible. Now, you figure that your smells smell pretty good, so you decide to let a big one rip. But it doesn’t make it smell any better. In fact, it smells worse. You’ve added another terrible smell to these terrible smells. It’s like a gas chamber. You’re afraid you’re going to die. Death by smell.

This is your first inkling that your smells might not smell so nice. And now the girls say you stink too. But, you don’t want to take a shower. That’s too much to ask, even for a girlfriend. So you try to control the smells. You use all kinds of deodorant, spraying it everywhere it can be sprayed on your body, including unmentionable orifices. You spray it hoping it can mask the fact that you haven’t bathed in three weeks. Unfortunately, you haven’t yet learned that body spray deodorant mixed with three-week old body odor smells like body spray deodorant mixed with three-week old body odor. It’s a smell from hell. You smell like hell. And somehow the girls still don’t like you.

This is your first inkling that corporate America might be lying to you. After all, the AXE body spray commercials clearly show men with women crowding around them in packs after spraying just a little bit of the stuff on their necks, as if it’s some kind of irresistable miracle fluid. Clearly a lie. So you become a hippie, and begin to go to events like Burning Man to get back at The Man. Your smell gets worse. And all the women that are now interested in you smell like patchouli. To hell with that.

Finally, you decide that enough is enough and you’ll begin bathing regularly. Finally you find a suitable woman or effeminate man and begin having copious amounts of sex. But now you can’t just smell your smell. Now you’re smelling somebody else. Now you have to deal with both your smell and this person’s smell. It’s a cornucopia of smells. Your smells mix into new smell. A together smell. You smell nice together.

Then she has babies, and now there are new smells. The babies are little sacks of feces and vomit and piss, and now you have to smell their smells too. And your smell and your significant other’s smell and the baby’s smell and the smell of the house mix together. You have a family smell going now. You recognize the smell of family time. You could be at work, and you’d instinctively know it’s time for home. Time for family smell.

As you get older, your son ends up trying to use body spray to cover up his odors, too. Now you see why nobody would date you in high school.

And then you go to the senior home. Now your smells are really smelly, and people can smell them from miles around. You’re a lot like that baby, with the horrible baby smell. Baby won’t talk to you any more. Baby’s grown into a man, and has found his own smell. He chose an effeminate man to spite you, and now both of them lisp at you for how ignorant you are when you get mad and start spouting off randomly against “the fags” and “the nigras”. Your son and his boyfriend both smell like cherry chapstick.

Then you die. You smell like dead person. That’s not a pleasant smell at all. Smells dead. people that aren’t dead don’t like that smell. They’ve had enough of you and your smells. You’re stinkin’ up the place. So they carry you to the funeral home. They bury you in the ground. Now only plants like your smell. Smells like fertilizer.

I won’t belabor it any more. Smell is your life. Smell is my life. Smell is life. Life is a test. Life is a smell. Life is a test of smells. First you’re supposed to tolerate your own smell, which is easy. Everyone can do that. (Unless they’re a burn victim, or can’t control their bowels. Then it’s much harder.) The second test is the relative smell. Tough test. Third’s other peoples’ smells. Even tougher. Then it’s the sex smell. People like that test. It’s easier. If you’re straight and going with someone of the opposite sex, and they bathe and don’t smoke. As long as all of those things are going, you’ll be fine on that test. Then there’s the baby test. Now that’s a test from Hell. And finally there’s the death test, where you’ve been through all the tests. That test is to test other people. You’re testing people to see if they can tolerate your smell. Great test.

In conclusion, I find it comforting that after having been exposed to all these different smells, that I’ll get to fight back against the smelly fuckers out there by forcing them to smell my dead rotting corpse. Fuck you, smelly people. Everyone else, have a nice day. Have a good life. Have a good smell.

The Story of Penis Mutilation in America: Circumcise Your Boys for Jesus and Protect them from French Prostitutes

The peoples of the world are defined by their ignorances. Some of the peoples of the world have tame ignorances, such as those of the Greeks who used to molest children for sport. Others have very interesting ignorances. For example, the Chinese liked to force their women to wear very tiny shoes so their feet would become deformed, because Chinese men are sexually attracted to women with deformities.

America is the nexus at which the various ignorances of the peoples of the world are brought together in a single unholy writhing mass of ignorance, hatred, bigotry, misogyny, and closed-mindedness. Being a nation of primarily unwashed honkies, America’s ignorances tend towards those of white trash, people who prefer their trucks big and who prefer their women drunk and willing at all times. These are people who hate science, who stone gays, and who hate vegetables, nutritious foods, and anybody who is not also white trash, including liberals, Hispanics, rich people of all kinds, intelligent people, and people who actually know what the hell is going on beyond Big Bubba’s Trailer Park Emporium and the local GMC dealership.

The one group which white trash loves besides other white trash is Jews. White trash loves Jews, or at least those who helped to write the Bible, a book which white trash holds dear in its white trash heart to make all of its decisions. Much white trash prefers to open up a Bible and pick a phrase at random to tell their fortune, in a ritual they refer to as “Bible dipping”. Then they go out and lynch fortune-tellers en masse because fortune-tellers get their powers from the Devil.

Fundamentalist Christians specifically fell in love with Jews, especially the nation of Israel. Israel is fundamentalist Christianity’s friend, because it gives fundamentalist Christians a convenient reason to bomb the shit out of people poorer and worse off than themselves, another white trash hobby. Christians fell so unremittingly in love with Jews, the Bible and fundamentalist religion that they consummated their relations with this religious trinity in an unholy buttsex orgy, resulting in a horrible fusion of all of these things which was so great that we still feel the results today, especially in our cocks.

The following is the story of how circumcision came to be. This story will explain to you why children have their dick skins cut off if they are born in the United States of America, land of the free, home of the ignorant fetid masses of the world.

Here’s why Americans circumcise their children.

Thousands of years ago Jews began to circumcise their children in the name of God. They did this so God would not smite them, or whatever shit people were coming up with back then. If you masturbated or didn’t cut the skin off your penis or had fun while having sex the Jewish God would torture you and kill you and send you to Hell.

Then, Jesus came to life as a corporeal representation of God. Jesus didn’t say dick about circumcision, except that his followers didn’t have to do it. Fuck that part, though, because he’s totally cool with it and such. After all, he was Jewish; he would be cool with the whole dick-skin sawing thing. He was a carpenter. One would assume he circumcised himself with a saw. A big fucking saw. Or a chisel. He probably chiseled his dick-skin off.

Then the Romans took over Christianity so the Jewish God wouldn’t destroy their Empire. The Jewish God destroyed their Empire anyway. He also tortured the Jews for various reasons.

By the early 19th century most people had stopped cutting off their children’s cock skins for various reasons. I have many theories on why this occurred. First off, it didn’t help peasant children work in the fields or work in the mines, and since they were probably going to die before they turned twelve months old it didn’t matter anyway. It’s not like they were going to get to lose their virginity or masturbate or anything. And if they did, who cared? This was Victorian England! Fuck happiness and sexual expression!

Second off, who gives a shit if poor children go to hell? It was the rich that mattered. Cutting off poor children’s dick skins was an unnecessary cost. The poor needed to fuck and fuck and fuck and reproduce like rabbits until the world was full to capacity of stupid children that nobody could take care of, and it wouldn’t matter, because the unnecessary vagina droppings could die of starvation. And all of them could go to hell because they got to keep the twenty thousand nerve endings men have on their cock skin, and after the obligatory hard work for rich white people that don’t give a shit about anybody or anything but themselves it wouldn’t matter. They’d been used. Their purpose was fulfilled. Circumcision was unnecessary.

Then America got to work, and John Harvey Kellogg threw his hat into the ring and decided that circumcision would help keep young boys and men from masturbating. Obviously. You slice skin off a dick and it becomes a little bit harder to get off.

But that’s a good thing! Fuck getting off! It’s not important! What is important is being pure. Meanwhile chugging down alcohol while beating your children and wife and killing brown people in foreign countries and beating black people to death and forcing your lifestyle down the throats of everybody else. Jacking off is the problem. Cooling off with porn after work is bad. Beating your children and wife is the right way to handle stress.

Most people with a brain in their head ignored Kellogg, because corn flakes suck and so did John Harvey Kellogg, who was a lunatic. FUCK JOHN HARVEY KELLOGG AND HIS SHITTY CEREAL.

Seriously.

Anyway, so then we go to war. We blow the everliving shit out of a bunch of European countries who were led around by a lunatic for reasons which have never really been explained. (And those same countries did whatever this lunatic wanted them to, which I’ve also never really understood.)

Our soldiers were fucking left and right throughout all this war. They fucked every Parisian hooker in sight, and get this, they started getting STDs.

Gee, I wonder why.

Maybe if the soldiers kept it in their fucking pants and waited till they got home to their girlfriends, they wouldn’t have had to cut their cock skin off to protect themselves against STDs.

But no, and so they took the Jew route so they wouldn’t get the clap.

This–American troops having unprotected sex with hookers–is the primary reason children are circumcised in America today. GIs brought the practice home with them as a method of decreasing STD transmission. In addition, intact children must have their private parts cleaned thoroughly, and American parents are both too lazy and too prudish to touch a baby’s penis to ensure he doesn’t get a urinary tract infection.

And thus are American children circumcised in the name of Jesus who said his followers didn’t have to get circumcisions, to protect them from hookers and UTIs.

Children who are circumcised never get a choice, never go back, nada. Twenty thousand nerve endings and most of the penis’ sensitivity are out the window with a snip-snip-snip and a whoop-de-doodle. The foreskin can never be replaced. Men that lose it never fully feel sex ever again, and are permanently less sensitive.

In simple terms, the foreskin is what feels most of the secks. Americans started circumcising kids so men couldn’t feel sex and wouldn’t want to have it as much. Period. That’s why Americans circumcise their kids. That’s why Abraham did it, that’s why fundie Christians do it, that’s why it’s done. So men can’t enjoy sex as much and won’t do it anymore.

In frank terms, America doesn’t give a shit. Why should it? We’re talking about a country that considers Coca Cola with high fructose corn syrup to be equal to sugar Coke. These people will never care, because they are desensitized to all outside stimuli, whether it be oral, anal, or penile. So I suppose, keep doing what you’re doing, America. Because you’re Christians. Because you don’t like sex.

Because you know, in your heart of hearts, that your kids are going to go fuck some French hookers.

Sources:

Father Magazine, “The Historical Basis for Child Circumcision in America.” 1996. http://www.fathermag.com/health/circ/historical.shtml

San Francisco Gate. “The Mommy Files: CDC Considers Promoting Circumcision.” August 24, 2009. http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/sfmoms/detail?entry_id=46066 (Yes, it is true, the practice is 60% effective in prevention of HIV. Pbbbbfffh. As you fundies always like to say, the best protection against HIV is abstinence. Isn’t saying circumcision prevents STDs just going to encourage circumcised kids to have more sex?)

American Academy of Pediatrics. Statements on Circumcision and Urinary Tract Infection. http://www.pubmedcentral.nih.gov/articlerender.fcgi?artid=1477524 (And it will also reduce UTI contraction, from one in every 100 infants to one in every thousand infants. Big deal. I’ll take my chances, thanks.)

Holy shit, Maddox… doesn’t suck?

I wrote a ways back on how Maddox sucks. In case you don’t know, Maddox is the Armenian that encourages date rape, lynching gays, and hating America. You should have seen his article “String up the faggots”, in which he discussed stringing up faggots, and his later work “I think circumcision should be mandatory, just a total circumcision where they cut off the entire dick so you fuckheaded Americans can’t produce any more cunt droppings you pieces of ALALALALA JIHAD JIHAD JIHAD.”

Ah, typical Maddox, you cockskin hater, you. Anyway, Maddox recently posted his latest article, “I hope I get swine flu“, in which he opines that he wants to get swine flu so he can show us how manly he is and how big his balls are and that the swine flu is actually pretty much the same as regular flu.

This article should be on CNN Headline News, but isn’t because all the CNN news anchors are out with swine flu. The headline: “Maddox publishes first readable article in two years”. Maddox, you have my respect for this article. It didn’t suck.

Also, speaking of circumcision and it being mandatory on Americans, fuck you, Americans. Only in America do they cut off their children’s foreskins in the name of Jesus so their children don’t get STDs from fucking French hookers. I’ll have the whole story in my statement on circumcision later this week. Oh yeah, and you Americans can’t wash under your baby boys’ dick skin because you’re all fundamentalist Christian zealots, so they get infections and you have circumcise them anyway. This is because you’re all retarded. All of you. And you too, Canadians. All of you are a bunch of slack-jawed yokels with no mental capacity, no taste in music, food, architecture, cars, or sports, and New Mexico is the worst of all. Remember, it developed the atomic bomb, murdering hundreds of thousands of Japanese. New Mexico is the most violent, despicable, depraved, destructive state in the dumbest country on Earth. Fuck you, New Mexico.

And peace out from Vrillon of the Ashtar Galactic Command.

NFL is for wussies. Meet MURDERDOME.

I am conflicted with myself on the Michael Vick issue. If you don’t know who I’m talking about, obviously you haven’t been watching football. I know I haven’t. I’m not gay enough to watch it, and I don’t care that much about it either.

There are some guys that seriously care about it, though. Those who like football for more than just the sweaty musclebound ass-kickers and ass-doers, guys that actually care about football, those guys are all up in arms about people who are against Michael Vick.

Yes, there are people out there that are against those that are against a man that is against being against dogfighting. Try pulling that through your head unscathed.

The way I see it, the sidelines are about like this:

  • Those who support Michael Vick: Football fans.
  • Those who do not support Michael Vick: People who do not enjoy murderous, unnecessary violence.

A lot of people are on the sidelines. I am on the sidelines, too. Here’s my problems.

First off, the dogs can go to doggie hell. Clearly the dogs were asking for it. Dogs are violent, sickening creatures that enjoy eating homework and biting mailmen. Who cares about them? I mean, seriously, who can look at these dogs in the picture below and not see violent killers just begging to be tortured and electrocuted to within an inch of their lives?

Clearly, violent killing machines in the making.

Clearly, violent killing machines in the making.

On the other hand, I also hate football fans, and would like nothing more than to see them cry in their beer because their god Michael Vick didn’t get to go back into the NFL. Look, I get that they make my pizza or might one day perform my open heart surgery, but football fans are also the reason they have those lame ass GoDaddy ads with Danica Patrick taking her clothes off, only it doesn’t show the goods because millions of women would get angry that their precious little bundles of joy and spittle and copious amounts of poop and urine (i.e. children)  were subjected to a few minutes of breasts. Well you know what? Screw that. If I feel like looking at naked women I’ll find them on the Internet, on websites that use GoDaddy for their domain names, ironically enough.

You have to remember, if nuclear war broke out during the Super Bowl and the President had to issue an Emergency Action Notification informing his country that they needed to evacuate to the bomb shelters, you would have millions of these people calling for the President’s head. They would rather die in nuclear hellfire than give up their faux-machismo skull-bashing contact sports for a day or two.

So as reasonable as Vick’s actions were, we also must remember that we have to do something, if only to piss off football fans. Also, I do realize that people deserve a second chance, even in America, as tragic as that may be. So, I have decided on a compromise. We allow murderers and dog killers to play in the NFL. However, only murderers and dog killers will be allowed to play in the NFL. Each team member will be issued a prison jumpsuit in their respective team’s color, and they will play without protective padding These team members will play completely naked, for the enjoyment of gays and women. We will allow these murderers, rapists, killers, and torturers to fight for the football in a giant mile-wide pit lined with electric fence and strewn with land mines and shrapnel, which I call the Murderdome. They will be paid five million dollars a year to do this, assuming that they survive the first season.

Then, we behead every member of PETA, impale their heads on spikes and place these in a wide circle around Murderdome, because it would look awesome and reduce the amount of fur coats lost each and every year to red paint. The fighting dogs they fought to save will get their chance to survive. They will be the opposing team, along with grizzly bears, tigers, lions, killer bees, king cobras, and other assorted violent and dangerous animals. The key difference will be that the animals were bred and trained to kill, whereas the murderers and rapists were self-taught.

Let's see what PETA thinks of this.

The cheering section will be comprised of lesbians having orgies on the sidelines. The stands will be the same as they are right now. However, fans will not only be allowed, but encouraged to bring semiautomatic weapons.

Oh yeah, and the ads will all be hardcore pornography. GoDaddy had better hope it can get Danica Patrick to have sex with “Candice Michelle” on TV for all of America to see. Otherwise we’ll have to give their TV spot to someone else.

We need to send a stern message to criminals. We don’t respect people that murder people and dogs and yet can’t survive a day in Murderdome. Grow some cojones, murderers! Especially if the grizzlies tear them off your crotch. If that happens, you’d better hope you can grow some new ones.

That’s my plan for the NFL. I think it’s a great idea, it’ll sell like hotcakes. We can free up our prison system, get killers off the streets and out of the jails, and simultaneously reduce the world’s population, and let’s be honest, this is already what the NFL is, just pussied out and made more “palatable” for  a mainstream, boring audience that can’t take anything truly hardcore. The only problem with the plan will be if human rights or animal rights advocates complain. Then we’ll have to kill them too. We can’t let quibbling details get in the way of a great plan.

I am ready to “talk turkey” and get the ball rolling with executives from the NFL. NFL, are you ready for Murderdome? Because it’s ready for you.

It took you long enough, Albuquerque.

Albuquerque’s Blue Line Rapid Ride Internet is finally online, meaning that if you’re on the bus you can now use your computer on the Internet. ‘N’ shit.

In honor of this sacred event which we all hold so dear in our fat geeky virgin asses and fat cholesterol-filled hearts, I have removed both the article in which I attacked the drunken scuzzballs that ask me how much my computer is every time I get on the bus, and the article in which I attacked the City of Albuquerque for not putting Internet on the Blue Line Rapid Ride so I could make hateful blog posts about how stupid people like you, the person reading this article, are. Now I can attack you even while riding on the bus. Ha. Ha. Etcetera. Expect me to use this newfound ability constantly from now on.

Expect a new article on Transformers having gay sex with each other, or furries having gay sex with each other, or circumcision, or possibly how much Maddox blows, or something else involving penises and homosexuality in the near future. And once again: Thanks, City of Albuquerque! I really fuckin’ appreciate it. Assholes.

Update (7:36 PM MST, August 10, 2009): I’ve noticed I’m the one who’s been reading this article more than anybody else. Considering how I said I write posts about how stupid the people who read my articles are, I think this has very troubling implications.

Update (7:38 PM MST, August 10, 2009): I have decided at least one person who reads my articles isn’t stupid. At least, I don’t think he is. And he is a he. I checked. Definitely a he.

Update (7:39 PM MST, August 10, 2009): I would also like to state for the record that I was not on the bus when I checked the gender of the one person who reads my articles that isn’t stupid. Nobody needs to see that stuff, man.

Why do people believe Orly Taitz is serious?

Everybody continues to believe that Orly Taitz is serious. Orly Taitz, of course, is the crazy lady that keeps on saying that dirty negro in the White House Obama was born in Kenya. Because that dirty negro in the White House is a dirty Muslim sand nigger extremist our civil liberties are at stake! HOLY SHIT A BLACK GUY IS IN THE WHITE HOUSE YOU GUYS!!!

Let me reiterate: People believe that a woman supposedly named O RLY seriously believes that Barack Obama is actually a Muslim, and is going to the Supreme Court with a law degree she obtained from an unaccredited school, in order to protect us against a popular President that was elected fairly and with a clear, strong, overwhelming majority vote.

I refuse to believe that this bitch is serious. I believe that this has to be a troll. It just has to be. There is no way all of this shit is seriously real.

Look, I get that everybody thinks that she’s serious, I get that we as a nation have a bunch of retarded rednecks that continue to attack Obama because he’s black, I understand that we have a bunch of even more retarded “birthers” that follow this lady around like she’s the next Messiah, but fuck, I can’t even take Orly “O RLY?” Taitz seriously enough to even believe that she believes the inane bullshit she’s saying.

Before you disagree with me in the comments below, consider the following, provided courtesy of the Something Awful Forums.

Recently Taitz claimed to have a certificate proving Obama’s birth in Kenya, which she supposedly photographed and put on the Internet here. According to the Daily Kos:

  1. The hospital is Coast Provincial General Hospital (sometimes said to be Coast Province General Hospital), not Coast General Hospital.
  2. Kenya was a Dominion the date this certificate was allegedly issued and would not become a republic for 8 months.
  3. Mombasa belonged to Zanzibar when Obama was born, not Kenya.
  4. Obama’s father’s village would be nearer to Nairobi, not Mombasa.
  5. The number 47O44– 47 is Obama’s age when he became president, followed by the letter O (not a zero) followed by 44–he is the 44th president.
  6. EF Lavender is a laundry detergent.
  7. Would a nation with a large number of Muslims actually say “Christian name” (as opposed to name) on the birth certificate?
  8. His father (born in 1961) would have been 24 or 25 when he was born and not 26.
  9. It was called the “Central Nyanza District,” not Nyanza Province. The regions were changed to provinces in 1970.

From Something Awful posters:

  1. The Deputy Registrar is listed as Joshua Simon ODUYA. O DUYA?

And let us not forget that the birth certificate appears to have actually been issued in Australia.

You will notice that the little folds in the paper and its tint are different between the Australian and African legal documents, as well as all important information, but the issue number, book number, registrar’s last name, district registrar’s last name, and the entire design and style of the documents are exactly the same. O RLY? SRSLY.

I cannot believe for the life of me that any person could be such a stupid fucker that they could ever possibly believe this crock of obvious and ridiculous horseshit. The lady’s name is Orly. Stephen Colbert let her on his TV show.

Come the fuck on.

This bitch is obviously a troll. She has to be. This has to be an elaborate satire by an intelligent individual, wherein she persuades a bunch of racist ignorant buffoons from the South to follow her willingly to jump off Bullshit Mountain like a pack of lemmings. Her name, the obviously Photoshopped documents that she claims to have, the ridiculous clues to its fraudulence, I mean come the fuck on, this isn’t rocket science here.

The only other thing I can come up with is that somebody else made it as a joke and gave it to her. This is what the SA forums said, and it makes sense, but it still doesn’t explain the name. The most ironic, ridiculously hilarious name ever given a child. Truly, Orly Taitz has taken the respectable, Hebrew name she was given and thrust it to heights of dull mediocrity and incredible ignorance it never would have had otherwise. You are my light, Orly. Too bad you’re so fuckin’ dim.

And so I continue to believe that Orly Taitz knows exactly what the fuck she’s doing. I know you all believe that she’s just a crazy crackpot, but I don’t. I think she’s doing this to intentionally embarrass and defame the Republicans and oust them as ignorant racist buffoons so obsessed with victory against the Democrats that they’ll basically call a Democrat a dirty Muslim nigger foreigner just to try to oust him. And of course the Republicans played right into it. O RLY? Ya. Srsly.

BREAKING: AT&T Blocks Mentally Retarded People From Using Service

Yes, sadly AT&T has committed a heinous offense against the mentally retarded after  it recently blocked 4chan for specific regions using AT&T. <–Link to Encyclopedia Dramatica

OK, OK, let’s be honest, in spite of the fact that I think 4chan is stupid, it’s quite clear that this is a bad, bad breach of net neutrality. Many of you who are not 4chan users probably want to defend AT&T in all this, using the classic “aw hell they’re all a bunch of creepy pedos that jack off to cartoon pictures of little girls” logic.

Frankly, so do I. I badly want to defend AT&T in all of this. Because, you know, it’s 4chan. Between the memes and the obnoxious “HAY GUYZ DESU DESU DESU MILHOUSE IS NOT A MEME LET’S DRESS IN MASKS AND SHIT TO STOP SCIFAGTOLOGY TITS OR GTFO” crap, defending 4chan is akin to

[Note: Preceding paragraph edited to prevent 4chan users from dressing in “Fail Guy” masks and harrassing me.]

But I can’t defend AT&T. Denying 4channers access to their favorite site sets a dangerous precedent.

We don’t know what is going on here, at least not yet, but I think it’s quite clear that we need to have a plan for what we’re going to do when this clears up, and by “we” I mean “WordPress users.”

First off, if it turns out to just be an error taking any sort of action against AT&T (such as blocking website ISPs or whatever) would be silly.

And I think it’s quite clear that this is probably just an error, albeit an extremely widespread one. Either that or another minor issue that doesn’t really matter.

But let’s say it gets serious, and it becomes clear that AT&T’s actions went far over the line, and were a breach of the doctrine of net neutrality. What then?

Well, to begin with I don’t know the ins and outs of WordPress, but allowing individual users the ability to  block AT&T corporate ISPs from their personal pages, with a message informing them of the situation involving 4chan and why it is important, might be one possibility. Could WordPress offer this to people? It would certainly seem like a better way of letting /b/tards vent their frustration than what they probably will do otherwise.

I’m still trying to come up with other game plans for those who wish to show AT&T how they feel about the 4chan blockade. If you have any ideas of how people can (peacefully) protest AT&T’s attack on net neutrality (without resorting to DDOS attacks on websites, hacking, personally attacking and harrassing executives, individuals, and employees, or any of the other ridiculous things some less-reasonable /b/tards are probably trying to concoct as we watch) feel free to post them below.

UPDATE (1:06 AM MST JULY 27, 2009): My access to img.4chan.org appears to be compromised. The connection to the server was reset while the page was loading.

This is important because I’m a Qwest customer, not an AT&T customer.

It’s a server malfunction, guys.

Also: I can anticipate your comments now about how this is a pedophilia issue and I admitted it when I said that 4chan users jack off to cartoons of little girls. Currently in the US you cannot take a naked picture of an underaged girl, but you can draw a cartoon of a naked underaged girl being raped by tentacles. You can also jack off to it. I am in the clear, assholes.