BREAKING: AT&T Blocks Mentally Retarded People From Using Service

Yes, sadly AT&T has committed a heinous offense against the mentally retarded after  it recently blocked 4chan for specific regions using AT&T. <–Link to Encyclopedia Dramatica

OK, OK, let’s be honest, in spite of the fact that I think 4chan is stupid, it’s quite clear that this is a bad, bad breach of net neutrality. Many of you who are not 4chan users probably want to defend AT&T in all this, using the classic “aw hell they’re all a bunch of creepy pedos that jack off to cartoon pictures of little girls” logic.

Frankly, so do I. I badly want to defend AT&T in all of this. Because, you know, it’s 4chan. Between the memes and the obnoxious “HAY GUYZ DESU DESU DESU MILHOUSE IS NOT A MEME LET’S DRESS IN MASKS AND SHIT TO STOP SCIFAGTOLOGY TITS OR GTFO” crap, defending 4chan is akin to

[Note: Preceding paragraph edited to prevent 4chan users from dressing in “Fail Guy” masks and harrassing me.]

But I can’t defend AT&T. Denying 4channers access to their favorite site sets a dangerous precedent.

We don’t know what is going on here, at least not yet, but I think it’s quite clear that we need to have a plan for what we’re going to do when this clears up, and by “we” I mean “WordPress users.”

First off, if it turns out to just be an error taking any sort of action against AT&T (such as blocking website ISPs or whatever) would be silly.

And I think it’s quite clear that this is probably just an error, albeit an extremely widespread one. Either that or another minor issue that doesn’t really matter.

But let’s say it gets serious, and it becomes clear that AT&T’s actions went far over the line, and were a breach of the doctrine of net neutrality. What then?

Well, to begin with I don’t know the ins and outs of WordPress, but allowing individual users the ability to  block AT&T corporate ISPs from their personal pages, with a message informing them of the situation involving 4chan and why it is important, might be one possibility. Could WordPress offer this to people? It would certainly seem like a better way of letting /b/tards vent their frustration than what they probably will do otherwise.

I’m still trying to come up with other game plans for those who wish to show AT&T how they feel about the 4chan blockade. If you have any ideas of how people can (peacefully) protest AT&T’s attack on net neutrality (without resorting to DDOS attacks on websites, hacking, personally attacking and harrassing executives, individuals, and employees, or any of the other ridiculous things some less-reasonable /b/tards are probably trying to concoct as we watch) feel free to post them below.

UPDATE (1:06 AM MST JULY 27, 2009): My access to img.4chan.org appears to be compromised. The connection to the server was reset while the page was loading.

This is important because I’m a Qwest customer, not an AT&T customer.

It’s a server malfunction, guys.

Also: I can anticipate your comments now about how this is a pedophilia issue and I admitted it when I said that 4chan users jack off to cartoons of little girls. Currently in the US you cannot take a naked picture of an underaged girl, but you can draw a cartoon of a naked underaged girl being raped by tentacles. You can also jack off to it. I am in the clear, assholes.

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Meme of the Week: “Go On, Try a Linux!”

I propose a new meme be created from the phrase “Go on, try a Linux!” I discovered this phrase on the TwoKinds forums while trolling talking with its members, and I believe it is a good phrase. It is strange, makes no sense, and is stupid, and is therefore quite capable of being a very good meme.

Consider the following:

  • Linux is an inherently hilarious operating system, because it isn’t really an operating system so much as it is a party trick which is only useful for awing and astonishing your friends and coworkers at something that still requires that you type words out to install programs.
  • Hardcore Linux users are also hilarious, because they all (that means all of them) have Asperger’s and are severely socially retarded.
  • Linux has that damn penguin as its mascot, and penguins wear tuxedos.
  • Penguins are also funny. Did you see that cartoon with the penguins? Yeah, so did I. That was sure funny, wasn’t it?

And of course let us not forget

  • 4chan users will laugh at anything.

In light of these facts, I believe that this phrase will become a meme by next Thursday. Can’t you just see it? Can’t you just see 4chan users driving this meaningless phrase right into the ground? I sure can:

And there you have it, a perfectly logical scenario for my “Go on, try a Linux!” meme. I predict that I will wish I had never found this. Even if 4channers don’t use it it’s close enough to the shit they come up with that it’s almost like they’ve already used it. It’s pretty much already being used, just in different phrases. I’ll bet when you saw this title you thought, “Gee, I wonder when I’ll be seeing that one around Encyclopedia Dramatica.” That’s just the kind of phrase this is. You just feel like it’s already being used. Even if it’s not.

I can’t wait for someone to use this… this thing. It will make Milhouse a meme. And we all know what happens when that happens.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING 4CHAN! You are officially lame and mainstream. Way to fail.

Ha ha! Just kidding! Please don’t raid my site like you did Scientology!

But no, seriously, this was awesome. Besides, Rickrolling’s already been mainstream a long time, starting with Barackroll. Anyway Rick Astley Rickrolls America via the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. Pretty awesome.

…Unless you’re 4chan.

…Which is now officially epic fail.