March 10, 2006- Luigiville Police Department gets a new web page. As of now, we have very little to report on.
March 10, 2006 6:23 PM-Call from local donut shop, say they need immediate assistance in apprehending a “donut bandit”. We arrive at scene, immediately apprehend bandit. Bandit is wearing uniform of worker at a donut shop, attempts to persuade us that he is in fact a worker at said shop. We take him to station, accept 300 donuts as tribute for hard work.
March 10, 2006 6:30 PM-Call from McDonald’s. Apparently, the customers are rioting because of an explosion which has left hamburgers scattered around. We immediately report to the scene, after which we confiscate the hamburgers, proceed back to station.
March 10, 2006 6:45 PM-Report of riot involving crashed spacecraft. Scream at caller for interrupting us at dinnertime, tell him to call back later.
March 10, 2006 7:00 PM-Caller calls again, this time saying rioters have set fire to Police Station. Tell him to call back.
March 10, 2006 7:01 PM-Fire station calls to tell us to evacuate police station, say that said station is on fire. Tell them to come back after we’re done with dinner.