Are you feeling free today?

While writing a post for another site I administer, I told somebody to “feel free” to review a webcomic. I realized that I, and a lot of people, say this phrase. It is a common phrase:

“Feel free.”

It’s meant to suggest that these people don’t need to worry about your opinion. It’s meant to be an invitation for somebody to do what they want to do.

But it isn’t an invitation. It’s not like you’re telling somebody, “Hey man, go ahead and feel free if you feel like feeling free today.” No, you’re telling them to “feel free.” It’s not an invitation, it’s a command. You’d might as well say it like it sounds.

“Feel free, you asshole! Dammit, feel free already! What do I have to do to make you feel free? Do I have to read you the Bill of Rights? Do I have to forcibly strip you naked and put you in a grassy meadow with prancing unicorns and butterflies for you to finally decide to feel free? What’s it gonna take? Feel free already! FEEL FREE!”

It sounds to me like something a general would say to a soldier. “Feel free to blow that guy’s brains out with your rifle, soldier.”

Feel free. Feel free. Say that aloud a few times. Loses meaning, doesn’t it? It turns into a chant. “Feel free. Feel free. Feel free. Feel free.” Like you’re goading somebody along. Like in a secret society or some shit.

“Feel free. Feel free. Feel free. Feel free.” A slow chant. Like you’re in the Ku Klux Klan. Or you’re a Nazi chanting to der Fuhrer.

“Feel free. Feel free. Feel free. Feel free. Feel free. Feel free. Feel free. Feel free. Feel free.”

“Feel good. Feel good. Feel good. Feel good. Feel good. Feel good. Feel good. Feel good. Feel good.”

“Feel fine. Feel fine. Feel fine. Feel fine. Feel fine. Feel fine. Feel fine. Feel fine. Feel fine.”

And you’re feeling free, you’re feeling good, you’re feeling fine.

 

 

But at what cost?

 

 

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2 Responses to “Are you feeling free today?”

  1. Lazlo Toth Says:

    Dear gpd, this blog is boring!

    • Lupe Delobo Says:

      Did you name yourself after the guy that attacked a Michaelangelo sculpture with a hammer or the pen name of Don Novello?

      Edit: Or the mathematician?


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