Bad Webcomics Wiki Review Preview: Jack Chick Tracts

(Note: I realize most of the filler material on the Internet sucks ass, but most writers don’t have the luxury of owning material they’ve made from another site. In this case, I am the administrator of a John Solomon knockoff site known as the Bad Webcomics Wiki. I figured I could get people to review comics they find on the Internet. Very few people have volunteered so far.

Regardless, I enjoy writing for the site, and I think some of my work is fairly decent for a third-rate knockoff site. So I put it here. Give this article a chance.)

Original work is here.
(Jesus He Knows Me, by Genesis. Uploaded by jmg51282.

Jack Chick Tracts

Original review author: The Luigiian
Webcomic name: Chick.com
Author: Jack Chick
Start Date 1972 (or thereabouts)
End Date Ongoing
Genre religious propaganda
Circle of Webcomics Hell residence Fifth Circle
Things that are fucking terrible about this webcomic: The messages, the racist, offensive stereotypes, especially of atheists, Pagans, Jews, and Catholics.
Things that aren’t terrible but could use improvement: The art looks amateurish, but it generally fits the subject matter like a glove even when it’s not quite so clean and tidy.
Summary: I cannot handle watching this individual rape my religion. It brings me pain even to read these destructive pieces of fundamentalist propaganda.

Background

There are two types of religious people, the liberal and the fundamentalist. Jack Chick is of the latter. He actually started out as an enormous asshole in school that even Christians wouldn’t witness to. He was obnoxious, he cursed like a sailor, and he sinned in great measure. Today, he still does terrible things, only now he does them to his chosen faith, acting like an obnoxious asshole, cursing through his Tracts at every non-Christian group on Earth, and acting like such a pompous prick that even most Christians ignore him.

Oh yeah, and his comic is bad.

Story and Plot

This enormous tract series is made up of a series of pro-Christian propaganda that covers everything from homosexuality to evolution to Mormons to Catholocism and far beyond.

By far the absolute best Chick tract is This Was Your Life! It’s simple, to the point, hits all the right (meaning “not completely ridiculous”) points about morality, and it’s got acceptable, if not great, drawings and message. Hell, even the most fair-weather Christians can’t really argue with most of the points in this Tract. Go to church, love the Lord, give to the poor, don’t get comfy with all your material pleasures, a lot of people, even most atheists, are OK with these things.

Downfall

Unfortunately, This Was Your Life! was Chick’s high point: A singular needle in a haystack of overwrought tirades on homosexuality, Mormons, Muslims, Catholics, and the like.

It would have been great had Chick worked on writing about God’s love, maybe a few epics detailing the most important parts of Christianity. Instead, he threw out all that bullshit (apparently, love’s for fags) and focused on a few vague quotes from Bible books like Deuteronomy and Leviticus that are used to encourage treating women like shit and stoning those faggots in San Fagsisco (HELL FUCKIN’ YES AMIRITE?!) Really, as a Christian who sometimes tries to witness to my Pagan and atheist friends, thanks a fucking lot you obnoxious asshole for making my religion look like outright lunacy.

Art review

This art is acceptable for what it’s trying to do. If you take a tract involving a mature theme like, uh, homosexuality, it’s done in an art style that looks like it’s intended for adults. When he’s making one for the kiddies, it’s more cartoony.

There are plenty of downright bad bits to both of those cartoons. The words on the picket signs in the anti-gay Tract look terrible, and they’re way too darkened for the gray background. This one should have been done either inked or in color.

Of the panels, by far the worst is on the ninth page.

0273_09.gifEvery Chick tract error you’ll ever find, save one, is encapsulated in this single panel. We have a meaningless Biblical verse at the top (more on that in the Writing review), and of course the grayscale drawing with overly-dark text. But by far the worst part is the gays: This is propaganda at its absolute worst. Good Lord, the creepiness is overdone. I mean, the levels Chick goes to to make his villians appear gross and disturbing is completely unreal.

But of course, there’s even worse: the demonic-looking idol in the back, the overtones of pedophilia, and really, sure Sodom was bad, but this is ridiculously overwrought. I mean seriously, the caveman-looking guy with the hairy back in the next panel, come the fuck on. The theatrics are ridiculous.

And in case caveman-pedo weren’t enough, you can check out Chick’s Tracts for Blacks. Yes, he seriously draws cartoons intended specifically for those of the Negroid persuasion. These comics are unbelievably racist.

1108_05.gifIt’s interesting to note that the only difference between “whites-only” Tracts and Tracts for Blacks is that… there are black people in the latter Tracts, while there are white people in the former.

Writing review

You could almost forgive Chick for being a racist bigoted asshole if he were actually a decent writer. OK, I’m lyin’ through my fucking teeth, you really can’t forgive the fucker. Chick sucks at writing, seriously. Not one of his hundreds of tracts is even remotely persuasive, save for his first simple sendup of This Is Your Life. The science in the, er, science-oriented Tracts is mindbogglingly ignorant, testament to the fact that Chick either doesn’t know a single damn thing about evolution or deliberately distorts the facts to make them seem dumber than they really are. I’ll leave you to decide.

1041_09.gif1041_10.gif0055_14.gif0055_18.gif0055_19.gifHe shoehorns religion into the agenda of whatever Tract he’s making by adding Biblical phrases. Many of these phrases bear little relevance to what the illustrations … illustrate. In the gay image, it is said that “the men… of Sodom were sinners before the Lord exceedingly.” Notably absent are sins like, oh I don’t know, murder or gluttony or mistreatment of the poor. Why? Because the image is supposed to condemn homosexuality. But here’s the thing: The Bible’s account of Sodom doesn’t specifically mention homosexuals. Therefore, Jack’s gotta pick a passage that doesn’t mention the sin but just kind of vaguely supports his argument. And because the foundation of that argument (i.e. gays are sinful) is so shaky, he has to make his villianous gays and scientists and atheists look unattractive to compensate. This isn’t even subtle, it’s literally Propaganda 101 level stuff here. What’s astonishing is that he could easily have picked a bit from Romans or Leviticus and gotten a far stronger message. The message could still work, in terms of being logical and understandable. But he doesn’t. He chooses a much more vague passage. That right there is awful, lazy, hack writing.

Also: Most all of the citations I know of that he uses regarding science are from fundamentalist Christian sources.

Author biography

Over the course of his life, Chick became inspired to “preach the word of God” through listening to Christian radio broadcasts and the like. Interestingly, he got the idea of making his Tracts after having heard that the Communist Chinese were using the exact same method to indoctrinate Chinese peasants into accepting Communism.

Like most ultraconservative fundamentalists, Jack had his fun as a kid and now appears to want to make sure nobody else gets to have any of his unique experiences. Not to be an asshole, but it appears many such fundamentalist Christians, including most of those who have worked with Chick on his Tracts, were made the same way. Among those who helped Chick was Perri Roberts, who assisted Chick in his writing of Wounded Children, a tract so bad Chick himself recalled it. Perri Roberts was once what you’d call “flaming” gay. I mean, For Chrissake he was once a popular gay hairstylist in California. As they put it on his site’s “About Perri” page:

As a popular gay hairstylist in 1960s California, young Perri and his friends delighted in storming ladies’ boutiques to find the perfect dress for the next drag party, flamboyantly flaunting their homosexuality and beauty as they sent shock waves through store clerks and stunned passers-by.

Note that, even as a reformed homosexual, Perri still feels the need to remind us of how good he looked in drag. You crazy thing, you. *snaps fingers sassily*

Now that Perri has had his fun and has gotten to fuck countless hot guys in drag and otherwise, he’s dedicated his entire life to make sure other budding gays don’t get that chance:

his transformation was not without an agonizing odyssey into the dark world of same-sex love with all its pleasures—and the bitter fruit of partaking in them.

Now a single, abstinent minister of the Gospel, he has devoted his life to caring for God’s people, teaching them how a process he calls “imprinting” plants the seeds of homosexuality at a young age, and leading them into deliverance from gay and other addictive lifestyles.

Just to add my two cents, I’d like to point out that most straight people don’t think of homosexual relations as a “bitter fruit” that is “pleasurable.” In fact, mention screwing a guy to a straight guy and he’d pass on the offer without even considering how totally absolutely hawt the guy was. He does that because he’s straight. Whereas gays want to have sex with other people of the same sex.

See? That’s the difference.

Conclusion

Chick Tracts are indefensibly bad. They’re illogical, incoherent, and not one of them is readable by anybody who knows anything. (Again, sans the first one.) It’s not even that they’re totally wrong, it’s that they’re such pure propagandizing bullshit that it’s impossible to take them seriously. They’re intended for the most ignorant of sheep, the kind who look upon simple things like the age of the Earth or the nature of DNA and disbelieve through the fact that they can’t understand it. Chick’s pseudo-heavenly rantings always die in the devilish details. Word to the wise: When every single writer on the entire Internet has parodied you, and those parodies make more sense than your serious musings, give it up. You’re embarrassing yourself.

Links

Place links pertaining to the webcomic here.

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18 Responses to “Bad Webcomics Wiki Review Preview: Jack Chick Tracts”

  1. www.polkout. com Says:

    Are you aware that you CANNOT be a “liberal” Christian? Jesus himself claimed a direct descent from NOAH.

    Then again, I’m not a filthy Christian.

  2. www.polkout. com Says:

    It’s in Luke if you’re interested. You would know if you ACTUALLY read your precious bibble. (I misspelled that on purpose.)

  3. www.polkout. com Says:

    You claim to be a “liberal” Christian. Therefore, you CAN”T selectively choose what parts to accept. Fact is, evolution and Christianity are incompatible. Now I agree Chick and his views are disgusting, but frankly, he fits the actual description of a Christian as defined in the Bible.

    “That’s great. Are you aware that liberalism is a loose set of traits that essentially boil down to progressive thinking and a desire to attempt to improve society?”
    This was in your email. I admit “filthy” was much, but that’s besides the point. Thank you for being curteous.

    I don’t see the reason to throw religion on in with liberalism. For that matter, why throw Christianity in with evolution? If you have evolution down, and presumably abiogenesis, why not cut out the middle man who had NOTHING to do with it? Jesus certainly didn’t claim evolution was true (think fundamentalism)and he’s supposed to be God/Yahweh!.

    Here. There’s a link you can follow if you feel like discussing “liberal Christianity.” I’m just a lurker there, but I would register for a debate on this.
    http://whywontgodhealamputees.com/forums/index.php

  4. www.polkout. com Says:

    Also, I’m not actually connected to http://www.polkout.com.
    I just read it.

  5. theluigiian Says:

    It’s all good. Forgive me for not answering you, but I have to get up early to take my grandmother to Urgent Care.

    Night.

  6. theluigiian Says:

    You claim to be a “liberal” Christian. Therefore, you CAN”T selectively choose what parts to accept. Fact is, evolution and Christianity are incompatible. Now I agree Chick and his views are disgusting, but frankly, he fits the actual description of a Christian as defined in the Bible.

    Yes they are, and so are liberalism and Christianity. The liberal thinking on the creation story is that it is metaphorical for the tremendously difficult task of understanding the origin of the universe.

    I don’t see the reason to throw religion on in with liberalism. For that matter, why throw Christianity in with evolution? If you have evolution down, and presumably abiogenesis, why not cut out the middle man who had NOTHING to do with it? Jesus certainly didn’t claim evolution was true (think fundamentalism)and he’s supposed to be God/Yahweh!

    The issue with this is that you’re interpreting the Bible literally. I subscribe to the notion that God set the Universe in motion and allowed it to create life on its own. The creation story should be considered like a cute bedtime story one tells to their children, one with morals involved. It was used because ancients were as young children, with little understanding of the world they lived in. Modern people are more like matured young teenagers. We understand these things more, therefore we have no need to interpret the stories of the Bible literally. We can accept these stories as just that: Fables with morals that are intended to help people live just and good lives.

    I disregard the martyrdom of Jesus. Although I think it’s important, I think that his teachings of love are far more important than the Crucifixion could ever be. His teachings rival the Buddha’s in their wisdom and sense of love and compassion, and he was a humble, honest man. That he died is not important: What is important is that he would lay down his life for his unyielding love of his fellow man. He died at the hands of an unjust people so that he might attempt to teach them a higher love. That’s why I’m a Christian. And for all his idiotic followers and their incredible stupidities, I hang on to the teachings of Jesus because I believe that his words are right and good, that he was just, that he was humble, that he was wise, and that he loved the people of the world so much that he would lay down his life to teach them and to help them find love in God.

  7. www.polkout. com Says:

    Do you believe you will go to heaven and I won’t even if I love other people? And as far as I know of, the fact that ‘he died’ is VERY important to even l’iberal’ Christians. I’ll get into the literal interpretations later.

    I think the best question to you is not what you believe, but what are you doing about the acts your fellow Christians perform in the name of Christianity that spread hate, bigotry, ignorance, pain, and death? (all advocated in the Bible)

  8. theluigiian Says:

    Do you believe you will go to heaven and I won’t even if I love other people? And as far as I know of, the fact that ‘he died’ is VERY important to even l’iberal’ Christians. I’ll get into the literal interpretations later.

    Your going to heaven is God’s decision. I will not judge you, however, I would think that God would look to the love in your heart to make a decision. I would say that it is likely that you are living in Jesus if you are loving people and are showing your love of your fellow man. If you believe in the teachings of Jesus (that is, love your fellow man, treat him as you would yourself, do not harm others, do not murder others, do not commit suicide and sully that which God has given you), you may well already be living in the manner of Christ. Perhaps that is God’s will? I don’t know. It’s not my place to decide.

    I think the best question to you is not what you believe, but what are you doing about the acts your fellow Christians perform in the name of Christianity that spread hate, bigotry, ignorance, pain, and death? (all advocated in the Bible)

    I strongly disagree with their opinions, and fight them and their intolerance when I can.

  9. www.polkout. com Says:

    You’re trying to justify the claim that a deity exists while denying the very source which MAKES the claim that the deity exists. How do you reconcile this?

    If it’s only meant to be taken symbolically, then why do you firmly believe in a metaphysical place called heaven? Couldn’t it just be interpreted as the ultimate peace of death, being relieved of the cycle of suffering which takes place in life?

  10. theluigiian Says:

    You’re trying to justify the claim that a deity exists while denying the very source which MAKES the claim that the deity exists. How do you reconcile this?

    I believe I may have misspoken when I said “disregard” the crucifixion. But I’m not sure if that’s what you’re talking about. I am not denying the Bible, I am merely saying that I do not regard it as the typical Christian perspective takes it to be.

    I view it from a metaphorical and a philosophical perspective. Yes, God may not be exactly as he is proclaimed in the Bible, but I do believe that he exists in some form.

    If it’s only meant to be taken symbolically, then why do you firmly believe in a metaphysical place called heaven? Couldn’t it just be interpreted as the ultimate peace of death, being relieved of the cycle of suffering which takes place in life?

    Where did I say I firmly believed that heaven is a “place”? You mentioned going to heaven and God’s judgment, and I gave you an answer that attempted to answer your argument that you would go to hell for being an atheist. I believe that whatever is given humans after death must be far greater, or far worse, than anything they might experience in the corporeal realm. That doesn’t mean that heaven is absolutely a place, or that we get mansions in heaven.

    Of course, that brings up the question of the cycle of suffering as “hell”. The Old Testament suggests that there is suffering after life, if I’m not mistaken. But death can be taken as peace, too. Hmmm…

    Don’t get me wrong. I realize my biblical knowledge is not great, and I am not a great Christian. I try to hang on to my belief in Jesus’ teachings, and that is my strongest connection to the Bible by far. The Old Testament I have some trouble with. Frankly, though, I don’t think I’m any worse than most fundamentalist Christians.

    Ahem. I do realize I’m not answering your questions very well regarding my spiritual beliefs. I do not know the ways of the universe, and thus only hold on as best I can to my own judgment and logic. I have found most of the teachings of Jesus good, therefore I take him as a great man, and somebody to treat as great and wise. I believe that all men are created by God, via his creation of the universe which created the plasmas which created the stars which then exploded into the heavy elements which make up life. Therefore, we as humans must be “sons” (creations) of the universe, and by extended logic sons and daughters of God. Therefore Jesus must also be a son of God. These may not be Biblically-sanctioned viewpoints, but it would be ridiculous for me to disregard the brains God gave me and simply ignore everything but the Bible. Wherever logic and morality fail me, including in my interpretation of the Bible, to reach a conclusion I attempt to reconcile what I believe was trying to be said by the prophets, with my own understanding of the world, based upon science and philosophy. If God created the Universe, the universe in itself is the ultimate Bible.

  11. www.polkout. com Says:

    “You’re trying to justify the claim that a deity exists while denying the very source which MAKES the claim that the deity exists. How do you reconcile this?”

    I would be talking about a literal interpretation. Of even just the O.T. If it can’t be taken in its entirety as truth, how can the New Testament?

    “Where did I say I firmly believed that heaven is a “place”? ”
    “Your going to heaven is God’s decision.”
    Perhaps just slightly believe it?

  12. theluigiian Says:

    I would be talking about a literal interpretation. Of even just the O.T. If it can’t be taken in its entirety as truth, how can the New Testament?

    The New Testament is also metaphorical. That does not make any of Jesus’ teachings any less relevant.

    “Your going to heaven is God’s decision.”
    Perhaps just slightly believe it?

    If the Bible is to be interpreted literally, then I would commit a sin to judge you, and therefore your going to heaven is God’s decision. I am not going to tell you you’re going to hell for your sins. If the Bible is literal, I would likely go to Hell for that. However, if the Bible is to be taken metaphorically, you have done the will of Jesus if you have loved yourself and others, done good works in the name of love (Jesus is love, after all), helped the poor, healed the sick, and the like. In that metaphorical sense, Jesus’ teachings are still teachings, and would be regarded as highly as a Confucianist believes in the teachings of Confucius. If you have done those works, I would argue you will find peace of conscience, and can therefore die peacefully, without regret.

  13. the weakonomist Says:

    That video will give me nightmares. But not because of the scary guy. Because I remember this song!

  14. theluigiian Says:

    That video will give me nightmares. But not because of the scary guy. Because I remember this song!

    Yeah. Made 1985. Genesis. “We Can’t Dance.”

    You think you’re bad? I’m only 20 years old. I wasn’t even born yet when the song was made. I just happen to like it. And, y’know, it works with the subject matter.

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    With a New Book Coming Out in May 2009 and Sold-Out Seminars on How to Buy Bad Debt, a Defiant Billionaire Is in High Demand AGAIN

    In June of 1999, the Justice Department brought the largest, best-trained and most efficient debt-collection operation in the world, Commercial Financial Services, Inc. (CFS), founded by Bill Bartmann, to its demise. However, although Bill Bartmann had lost his company, he had not lost his faith. As Wall Street panicked, lawsuits and allegations rained down on Bartmann, the man who Inc. magazine once said had “remade one of the ugliest industries” and who Fortune magazine said had put a “seedy and inefficient industry on the road to respectability.” In December 2003, after eight weeks of testimony from 53 prosecution witnesses, Bartmann was acquitted of the 57-count indictment brought against him in the post-Enron era by former U.S. Attorney General John Ashcroft. There was no evidence of wrongdoing found.

    CFS had made its name on its ability to buy delinquent credit card accounts for pennies on the dollar, and then produce nickels, dimes and quarters—an ability the firm eventually took to Wall Street. The accolades and praise for the company never seemed to end: BusinessWeek named it “One of the Top Ten Family Oriented Businesses in the U.S.” while Working Woman said it was one of the “100 Best Companies for Working Mothers.” Inc. magazine called it one of the “500 Fastest Growing Companies in America” for four straight years and the Better Business Bureau gave it the Torch Award for Ethics in the Marketplace.

    Besides amassing a personal fortune, estimated by Inc. to be as high as $3.5 billion, Bartmann was named as one of Forbes’ “400 Wealthiest People in America,” and the National Entrepreneur of the Year by NASDAQ. He was also awarded a permanent place in the Smithsonian Institute’s Museum of American History, for “Visionary Use of Information Technology” that produces positive social, economic and educational change.

    Ironically, 17 months after Bartmann’s acquittal and six-and-a-half years after his company was liquidated, the federal bankruptcy trustee (appointed by the U.S. Bankruptcy Court to liquidate the company, forcing Bartmann into personal bankruptcy) issued a report that publicly acknowledged for the first time that, “CFS was not a fraud.” Four independent expert witnesses hired by the trustee in the civil proceedings later confirmed this report.
    Today, Bartmann just shrugs off the experience that would have embittered most people, and instead is thrilled to have a second opportunity to buy bad debt. This time, however, he is also teaching others what he learned from turning CFS into an empire. (CFS was the first firm of its kind and, to date, remains the most successful debt-collection agency on record).

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    Now Bartmann is prepared to do it again, teaching others along the way.

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  16. Ars Moriendi Says:

    Kudos Luigian, I wish more christians shared your views, you actually know what you’re talking about and not full of blind faith. Jack Chick I’d an idiot, but he sure is entertaining!

  17. Roy Says:

    Genealogy: Collecting dead relatives and sometimes a live cousin!


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