Evil Scientists Strike Again: “Fractal Friday” Is Evil


Recently, for homework, I was asked to attend two lectures, writing about “what I learned” in both of them as an essay. A college essay. To do so, I decided to attend “Fractal Friday”, a presentation at the Albuquerque Museum of Natural History and Science, at seven o’clock at night at the observatory.

It was most clearly evil.

Beyond the obvious (and ominous) Parade of Nerds standing right outside the door, I knew it was evil for another reason: It was sold out. People were paying to see a science lecture! Tell me that isn’t evil incarnate! As if Americans actually wanted to learn something.

“Fractal Friday”, which occurs every first Friday of every month at three separate times, six, seven, and eight, and whose creator’s website is http://www.fractalfoundation.org, displays the evils of mixing art with mathematics and science. It is morally wrong! Americans are not supposed to learn. After all, as an American, do you really want to learn? Seriously! Americans are supposed to be ignorant and stupid, and little snippy, cutesy-poo science lectures like these are teaching them things! Next thing you know, they’ll be doing the same thing with nuclear weapons, and before you know it, people won’t be wanting to nuke Afghanistan, Iraq, North Korea, Iran, Israel, France, Europe, Canada, Mexico, China, and the Western seaboard because they’ll figure out that they’ll screw up the climate and cause nuclear holocaust throughout the world! Who wants that? Armageddon should be started as soon as possible, and I sure as hell want the United States to start it.

If you agree with me, and you live in the Albuquerque area, be sure not to go to Fractal Friday, first Friday of any month, at either six, seven, or eight at night at the Lodestar Astronomy Center at the Albuquerque Museum of Natural History and Science, 1801 Mountain Road NW, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104, and be absolutely certain not to buy tickets here. And if you don’t live in Albuquerque, be sure not to visit your local museums to check out what they’ve got! They’re full of evil scientificky knowledge that us Americans shouldn’t know!

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a museum to visit. Don’t follow my lead. Remember, it’s evil.


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