Hey, everybody! I’m sure you remember me, eh? Yeppers, it’s been a good few months. Let me tell you about what’s been going on at my doctor’s office! Eh!
So, anyway, I just got my Canadian Hockey Stick from the Prime Minister, y’know, and I hung it on my wall just to show every hoser here how Canadian I am. Eh. A lot of people don’t realize I’m Canadian. They think that Canadians are people who wear plaid and have weird heads that flap around like on your South Park here in the States. I’m just here to remind everyone that Canadian stereotypes are just wrong, eh? Know what I mean, hoser?
So anyway, business has been good. I’m gettin’ some perscription drugs from Canada, and people are beating down my door. They want that good ol’ Canadian drug! Plus, since farming marijuana is illegal here in the Luigiian Republic, but selling it isn’t, I’ve been getting all sorts of orders from all over the city! Red and Green’s General Store seems ‘specially happy–they haven’t sold this much whipped cream since the Porno Convention came to town, you know how they put that there cream on their privates, eh, hosers?
So everything seems happy. I even got a hit to one of my posts–somebody was searching for “canadian doctor” and found me here. I’ll bet he got one heckuva happy surprise, eh?
‘Course, not ever’thing’s good. Whoever stole my doctor’s coats needs ta give ’em back. Y’see, guys, I used the coats while administering chemo to one of my patients, and some of it spilled all over the coats, meaning that now they’re radioactive. It don’t mean yer in any danger, but I’ve heard that such a thing can make ya glow! Eh! So please give ’em back!
Anyway, ‘at’s about it. Keep yer sticks on the ice, hosers.