Post by Mike the Canadian Doctor

You know, I’ve heard very much about the internet fad, and I’ve also worked quite a bit on it (Santa Muerte’s healthcare system is centered around the Internet), and so I’ve decided to talk about healthcare pitfalls the average person gets into several times per minute, eh. So, let’s discuss how you can get fit and thin the Canadian way, which means by not eating from McDonald’s every day.

First, it’s best to get plenty of air. For example, you would not want to get on the Space Shuttle, open up the airlock and go for a spacewalk naked, because that would be an area where you would get very little air. A much better idea is to go ahead and take a walk around your neighborhood naked. This way, you get plenty of air; sometimes, you even get to take a ride in a police car! It’s a great way to get exercise and scare neighbors away.

Next off, you shouldn’t eat too much. Eating too much can make your stomach explode or make you fat. This fat could get in the way if you were to ever be attacked by rabid dogs. I’ve even heard reports that eating too much can cause a medical condition called “plaque”, which is this disgusting stuff that sticks to your teeth. This is enough to keep me from eating too much, and it’s also why I fast at least once per month, although I’ve also heard that you can just brush your teeth to get off this evil substance, so you might just consider eating that burger and just brushing your teeth afterwards.

Remember that good health is the key to success and getting girlfriends, because if you have any sort of disgusting health problem, for example that you don’t bathe or blow your nose so much that your pocket gets wet from holding all those Kleenexes and you have to begin using notebook paper from your notebook, people won’t like you, and you’ll never get to lose your virginity. EVER.

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One Response to “Post by Mike the Canadian Doctor”

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