(EDITOR’S NOTE: The following is the text from a pamphlet by the Church of Mel Gibson. At least, we think it is.)
Hello, churchgoers! Today, we will be discussing the problems facing the Jews of Israel, some of the most persecuted peoples ever to grace our Earth. We feel that it is important to help these people recover from their horrible past. Therefore, as his apology to the Jews for the Christian community, as well as his apology for some unusual behavior he exhibited earlier, he has proposed the following plan.
First, we must remember that Jews are persecuted here in the United States. Therefore, Mel has urged that all Jews must be moved, so that they don’t have to worry about our anti-Semitism here in the United States. He has said that they should be moved to Israel.
Second, anti-Semitism occurs around the world, not just here. One only need look at the terrible Holocaust during World War II to realize that (if, of course, it in fact occurred.) Because of this, he also has said that all Jews around the world should be moved back to their homeland of Israel, for their own sake.
Third, he has also said that the Arabs as well have been persecuted for their beliefs, through such evil “holy wars” as those in Iraq and Afghanistan. This has occurred for centuries, but, he says, has escalated exponentially since the founding of the modern Israeli state in 1948. Therefore, he says, it is the duty of the United States to destroy its ties with Israel and join the side of the Palestinians.
Finally, Mel Gibson says that since we need to stop the violence in the Middle East, it is necessary to destroy the volatile agent. Since, by his own knowledge, Israel is the volatile agent, we must begin nuclear annihilation of the Israelis. Mel believes that this is the best way to end the wars across the world.
Mel Gibson has stated for the Church that he loves all people, and that all people need to be treated with respect. He also believes that the above is the best way to end all war across the world.
This concludes this post. Just remember:
Keeping Jews in America is Rotten!
So please, let’s help them, here. After all, what else would Mel do?
(EDITOR’S NOTE: Yes, we know that this is probably just some hoax. Still, after all, we are the liberal media; what else would we do but post this? Besides, it isn’t like it’s serious, or anything…)