Luigiville News Report: LANTran

In case you’re wondering, the post below, which is by “Milo the Goth Blogmaster”, is typical of posts on my original site, members.aol.com/luigirepublic. I used to post these sorts of posts more often, in fact making them the cornerstone of the site. I thought that letting the Luigivillians who wanted to start blogs on the Internet would be a good publicity stunt. It wasn’t, at least partly because everybody has a blog now, and they’re all pretty much the same. But they still sometimes want to post (most stopped long ago), and if they do I post their stuff on this Blogspot account.

Anyway, other than introducing Milo, this post is with regards to Luigiville, because I could think of nothing to write which was even remotely funny. So I’m down to telling you about two developments in Luigiville:

  1. LANTran.
  2. The fact that this one guy hasn’t sent me my LEGO parts yet.

LANTran, to begin with is the planned Luigiville subway system. But, this is no ordinary subway system. Oh no; instead, it is two PVC pipes (in its simplest form) laid in the ground, one passenger, one freight; the two connect four major cities and the national landfill, and stretch south from Luigiville southwest down our property. It will be so expensive (covering over 100 feet of space) that it may never be implemented. Nevertheless, Luigiville’s finest engineers have been working for years on it, and have created sophisticated diagrams so complex and detailed that the Yoshiian investors looking in on the project looked at them for a good three minutes before throwing them in the fireplace. Yoshiians love a good fire.

Anyway, that brings me to the argument that I’m a no good evil scumball because the houses I promised aren’t here yet. Do not worry, salvation is coming, Legoleons: the houses are about to be built. We’re just waiting for parts to come in. The Yoshiian investors who agreed to pay for the Luigiian Republic Project will be damned before they lose their investment! I swear.

That’s about it. See ya later, hosers.

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