Public Service Announcement: The following article is in no means attempting to lampoon any civil rights activists. I say this because many people, especially those who normally wear tie-die T-shirts, get extremely angry and attempt to assault people with limp noodles if they say anything about black people or white people or off-white beige people and so on. So again, this article isn’t making fun of anyone. I’m serious. This has been a Public Service Announcement.
Of course, today we saw the illegal immigrants and illegal immigrant supporters of America show their sympathy for their cause by taking off work for a day. Personally, I think they’ve got it easy; why, just imagine if blacks in the South during the 1960s could have done the same. They could have just taken off work, and eventually gotten their civil rights. Can you imagine?
Larry the White Guy: Hey, black person, ha ha ha! You are black!
Bob the Black Guy: Because of that racism, I’m going to take off work for a day.
I think that America should take this approach more often. Less strain on the police and all, and we wouldn’t have to watch footage of big mean hairy police officers attacking defenseless demonstrators who are often wearing loincloths, like Gandhi.
Uh, anyway, so other than that, today we saw all of the people out on the streets not working and sweating and showing America what it would be like if there were no illegal immigrants, or immigrants, or women, or whatever. My grandmother human, being old, has decided that illegal immigrants are bad; I, being a Liberal Rebellious Young Person, have decided to side with the immigrants. I also wrote a long article on immigration in the United States, using phrases like “failed the test of civilization” in the paper, to appeal to my English teacher. I have always felt that illegal immigrants do good things for this country, like, for example, build things, and work slaughtering cattle.
But today I realized two important facts:
- I had an important architecture project I had to do, involving constructing a tiny house out of wood I purchased from Michael’s Crafts Store, a.k.a. “Flamer’s” or “Old Crafts-Oriented Women’s store”.
- There were no illegal immigrants around to help me.
Based upon this information, I began to think deeper and deeper about the immigration struggle. Just how important can these farts be if they can’t help me build my miniature house? Because my balsa wood house is far more important than any illegal immigrant family living in Mexico on five cents an hour.
After that, other facts began to pop up, ones which I hadn’t even realized before:
- I’ve never seen an illegal immigrant at my school, even though I live in New Mexico.
- None of the lunch ladies at my school look illegal (unless their hair can be counted as such);
- I suspect that all of the meat in our school lunches comes from North Korea, considering what it looks like. For example, today this one girl, who my friend calls “The Tall Girl” and who I will simply refer to here as “Michael”, was looking at the corn on her plate, and refused to eat it. Others simply prefer to pour chocolate milk on the corn for entertainment purposes.
Armed with this knowledge, I have realized that illegal immigrants are evil. That, or they help America’s economy. Either way, I do not care.
(This has been a Public Service Announcement.)